The Treatment with Wives in Light of the Holy Qur’an and the Sunnah

Muhammad Zubair Chishti

The Treatment with Wives in Light of the Holy Qur’an and the Sunnah

(NOTE:Whenever the name of HOLY PROPHIT S.W.A will come in following lines,please you should say “Sal ALLAH o alyh e wa AAlyhi wa sallam”)

In light of the Verses of the Qur'an, we see that Allah, the Exalted ordered excellent treatment towards the wife, generosity towards her, and the best cohabitation with her, even if there is not love from the heart. Allah, the All-Wise said:

 And live with them in the best way. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.  (4:19)

The Prophet S.A.W  said:

“A believer man must not hate (his wife) believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another.” (Muslim)

Also, Allah clarifies that the woman has rights towards her husband, just as the husband has towards her. Allah, the Exalted says:

 And they (women) have rights (over their husbands), similar (to those of their husbands) over them, to what is reasonable.  (2:228)

And the Prophet’s  last will before he dies was that men should take care of their wives and honour them, and never treat them unfairly or swallow their rights. The Prophet said:

“Treat the women in the best way.’’

And the Prophet  ordered us to behave well to our wives, and be generous with them, and he also clarified that the best of men is he who treats his wife best. The Prophet  said:

“The most complete in faith is the best in character. And the best of you is the one who is best to his wife.” (At-Tirmidhi)

The Prophet  also said:

“The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Ibn Majah)

Also, the Prophet ordered his Companions to endure the mistakes of their women, clarifying the nature of the woman, in to which Allah created her. The Prophet  said:

“Treat the women in the best way. Verily, the woman was created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so treat the women in the best way.” (Al-Bukhari)

The Messenger of Allah  also said:

“Verily, woman was created from a rib. It shall not be straightened to you in anyway (i.e. she shall not behave exactly as you wish her to). Thus, if you enjoy her, you will enjoy her bent. And if you tried to straighten her, you would break her. And to break her means a divorce.” (Mustakhrag Abi ‘Awana)

The Verses of the Holy Quran and Ahadith showing that the man should treat his wife in the best way are innumerable, and whoever wants to refer to them, he might as well do.

 Allah’s Messenger attitude with his wives

The Prophet  is the good example, which all Muslims should follow, as Allah the Exalted has ordered us to. Allah the Exalted says:

Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah (Muhammad) you have a good example to follow, for whomever hopes for (the Meeting with) Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah much.  (33:21)

Allah, the Exalted, also described the noble Messenger’s morals, saying in the Qur’an:

And Verily, you (O Muhammad) are on an exalted (standard of) character. 

(68:4)

The Prophet  applied his good morals in practice, from which people learned how to treat other people. The Prophet  said:

“Verily, I was not sent but to perfect and complete the best ethics.” (Malik in Al-Muata’)

Do we then read in the Prophet’s biography or in his words (Ahadith) anything that shows that the Prophet  has ever beaten any woman or any child? Or do we even find in his enemies’ words who lived during his time and saw him and heard him, any claim that blames him for such thing?

And let us look upon Aisha, the Prophet’s wife’s words, what she has said about him after his death, to see what kind of a husband he was:

“His character was the Qur’an.” (Ahmad)

‘’The Prophet has never beaten with his hand, neither a woman, nor a child.’’ (Muslim)

And let us see what the other wife of the Prophet , Safiya, said about the Prophet  after his death:

“Never have I seen anyone better on character than the Messenger of Allah .” (At-Tabarani)

And let us see the words of the Prophet’s servant, Anas bin Malik :

“I remained in the service of the Messenger of Allah  for ten years. He never once told me 'Oof'. When I did something, he never asked me, why did you do so? When I did not do a certain task, he never asked me why I did not do it. And the Messenger of Allah had the best character among all people. (and also possessed the most excellent features, so much so,) that I never felt a silk cloth, nor pure silk, nor any other thing softer than the palm (of the hand) of the Messenger of Allah . Nor did I smell any musk or any other fragrance, more sweet smelling than the sweat of the Messenger of Allah .” (At-Tirmidhi)

Anas bin Malik  also said: “I served the Prophet  for years. He has never insulted me, never hit me, never scolded me and never frowned to me. And he never reprimanded me about something he had ordered me and I neglected. And if someone of his family reprimanded me, he said; ‘Leave him alone! If it was to be done, it would.’” (Al-Baghawui).